beben-eleben:

1. Make race car noises when anyone gets on or off.
2. Blow your nose and offer to show the contents of your kleenex to other passengers.
3. Grimace painfully while smacking your forehead and muttering: ”Shut up, dammit, all of you just shut UP!”
4. Whistle the first seven notes of “It’s a Small World” incessantly.
5. Sell Girl Scout cookies.
6. On a long ride, sway side to side at the natural frequency of the elevator.
7. Shave.
8. Crack open your briefcase or purse, and while peering inside, ask: “Got enough air in there?”
9. Offer name tags to everyone getting on the elevator. Wear yours upside-down.
10. Stand silent and motionless in the corner, facing the wall, without getting off.
11. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act embarrassed when they open by themselves.
12. Lean over to another passenger and whisper: “Noogie patrol coming!”
13. Greet everyone getting on the elevator with a warm handshake and ask them to call you Admiral.
14. One word: Flatulence!
15. On the highest floor, hold the door open and demand that it stay open until you hear the penny you dropped down the shaft go “plink” at the bottom.
    

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beben-eleben:

• Law of Queue: If you change queues, the one you have left will start to move faster than the one you are in now.
• Law of Telephone: When you dial a wrong number, you never get an engaged one.
• Law of Mechanical Repair: After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch.
• Law of the Workshop: Any tool, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible corner.
• Law of the Alibi: If you tell the boss you were late for work because you had a flat tire, the next morning you will have a flat tire.
• Bath Theorem: When the body is immersed in water, the telephone rings.
  

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